If you’re trying to improve your sex life to meet your spouse’ expectations or because you’re feeling pressured, you won’t get far but if your interest in having better orgasms comes from personal desire or curiosity, then you’ll probably find these tips very helpful.
1. Start Breathing
Orgasm has the potential to be a full body experience, and breath provides the foundation of the experience. You can build on your orgasms by playing with your breathing. First, sart by paying attention to your breath during sex.
After this, experiment
with the depth and pacing of your breath. Try to intentionally change
your breath as you feel yourself approaching orgasm. Some people find
that longer and deeper breathing at the point of orgasm can expand their
awareness of the orgasm in other parts of their bodies.
If you find yourself losing steam, you can also try short quick breaths but be careful not to hyperventilate.
2. Don’t forget to move
Moving your body may be
an obvious part of having sex, but when it comes to orgasm, a lot of
women tense up and hold themselves almost still, which can get in the
way of having an orgasm or having a bigger orgasm.
You can change your
orgasm by changing how much you move and what parts of your body you
move. Start by paying attention to how your body moves during sex and at
the point of orgasm.
If rocking your hips
doesn’t work for you, try shaking your arms or legs or just letting your
whole body writhe. If you are self-conscious about trying this with
your partner, start with the lights off, or under the covers. Make a
game of it and agree to have sex once while trying to move as many
different parts of your body as possible. As you do this, pay attention
to see if one or more movements feel particularly good.
3. Find your line
Our obsession with
orgasms often means we’re in such a hurry to get there that we lose out
on the build-up. Many women I have counseled report that orgasms
resulting from a slow build-up or arousal are more powerful than quickie
orgasms.
Start by figuring out
where your line is: that point at which you go over the top and have an
orgasm. Can you always tell when you’re about to have an orgasm? What
are the signs that you feel in your body that happen just before orgasm?
Your next step is to
prolong the period before orgasm. It’s much easier to try this by
yourself. Keep the stimulation going, but let yourself step back from
the line a bit. Then start again until you get close to the line.
4. Exercise your pelvis
This tip won’t work for
everyone, but if you have movement in your pelvis and don’t experience
pelvic pain, you can try to build better orgasms by strengthening the
pelvic muscles called the pubococcygeus muscles.
Strengthening exercises
for the PC muscles are called kegel exercises, and doing these increases
blood flow to the pelvic area. For some women, stronger PC muscles
result in stronger orgasms. Simply doing the exercises also increases
awareness of your pelvis which itself can lead to more intense orgasms.
5. Get wet
If you really want an
earth shaking orgasm, you must get very wet. If you get some irritation
by using some lubricant, you can use ordinary water.
Rushing water from a
shower head or from a bathtub faucet offers strong and consistent
stimulation that is very different from the stimulation of a hand, or
rubbing against fabric or furniture and can result in a very different
kind of orgasm. Try masturbating in the shower or bath. Playing in the
tub is also an easy way to alleviate concerns about sex being too messy
or wet, either alone or with a partner.
6. Think outside your box
If you’re looking for
bigger orgasms, you need to think beyond your genitals. It’s not that
the vulva, clitoris, penis, and scrotum aren’t key players in the orgasm
orchestra, but your body is full of nerve endings just waiting to be
aroused, and orgasms can come from unexpected places.
Sometimes stimulating
another part of your body while bringing yourself to orgasm can really
change the way the orgasm feels. Next time you’re having sex with your
partner, spend some time playing with other parts of your body. Don’t
just think of this as foreplay, really concentrate on where you feel
good, and when you’ve found a spot, experiment with different
intensities of stimulation.
7. Tense and Relax
When you have an orgasm,
muscles throughout your entire body are engaged. But often during
sexual arousal and orgasm, we unintentionally isolate parts of our body,
and tense or relax only those parts.
One way to build better
orgasms is to start integrating your whole body into the experience,
including your muscles. Start by taking note of those parts of your body
where you feel muscle tension and relaxation before, during, and after
orgasm.
If you find yourself
tensing up at the point of orgasm, try to use your breath to relax your
muscles. If you find that only one part of your body tenses up,
intentionally tense up another part and see how that feels during
orgasm.
Play with the tension of muscles by tensing up, holding for a few seconds, and then relaxing.
8. Use fantasies
Using fantasies to build
better orgasms can be a great help to achieving your greatest orgasmic
potential. Sexuak fantasy is great if it helps you let go and follow
your erotic thoughts.
If you’re someone who
finds it hard to get aroused, fantasy can be a crucial first step. But
some of us use fantasy as a way of staying outside our bodies and
distracting ourselves from what we’re feeling. If you’re someone who
relies on fantasy most of the time, you may want to experiment with not
fantasizing and focusing on what your body is feeling.
If you never allow
yourself to fantasize, then it may be time to give it a try and see how
it can change the way your orgasms feel.
9. Play with toys
Some people in this part
of the world see sex toys like vibrators and didoes as items only found
with a loose woman but more liberated wives and ladies in committed
relations have been found to find sex toys very useful if they have
problems achieving orgasms.
Vibrators in particular,
are often the easiest and fastest way to an orgasm, and the kinds of
orgasms you have when you play with toys can feel very different.
Know it that sex toys
are not essential for good sex or great orgasms, but they can be great
both for the added stimulation they offer and for the way they remind us
that sex is play.
Using sex toys can also
facilitate sexual fantasies, and if you’re using toys for penetration,
it offers the chance to choose your size, something some women hardly
get with their real life partners.
10. Check your health
If you’re just looking
for a way to expand orgasms that you’re already happy with, it’s
unlikely that there are any health concerns you need to consider. But if
you are having difficulty experiencing orgasm or not feeling orgasms
the way you used to, it could be the result of a medical condition or
medication.
While our sexual
response is an intricate blend of mind and body, having a check up and
talking with your doctor about any concerns you have about sex is an
important part of building better orgasms and taking responsibility for
your sexual health and pleasure.
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