Hi Naijazine, I have been married for 2years now, without any kids, I love my Husband so much and he loves me so much too, my Hubby has never attacked me over birth issues, never!! aside from people's side gossips we never had any issue over me not able to give him a child, which am greatful of, but this boaders me almost all the time.
My hubby travel most of the time because of the nature of his job, I wasn't always lonely though, I had friends and lots of sisters to keep me company when ever I feel alone.
There was this Dinner party I told my hubby of which he was actually happy I wants to attend, since I have been so worried lately and shut out lots of my friends, he had begged me weeks ago to let it go, and just be happy, but I just couldnt be happy, i feel I have failed him all the time he makes me happy, and the one thing I could do to make him happen I couldnt do it.
He got me a dress for this particular dinner, and gingered the whole thing to keep my mind madeup to going for this dinner, my fear was meeting all those my friends with millions of questions I only wished Hubby was coming with me to change topic of wierd questions for me since is what he does best.
The next day after my Husband travelled, he called teasing me about the dinner thing, and all.
Finally @ the dinner, i was having so much fun, meet old friends we gisted alot, and everthing was going on fine, no wierd questions nothing until Tony came. Tony was my child hood crush struck my Ex, he has this funny way of making you listen to him whenever he talks, I didnt want an awkward moments so I answered all his questions directly, he teased me of being alone which was abit sarcastic but still i pretended to be fine.
Shortly after we talked, he came back and asked me if we could drink at the private bar, which was just a little walk from the hall where we had dinner, I reluctantly said yes.
As we were walking to the bar, Hubby called, I should have known this was a sign, I just ignored my instincts, like I said, maybe Tony still has this annoying hold on me, at bar we talked alot and i kept it soft, we both did white wine like old times.. Tony decided we go to the club which was still in that same hotel we had our Dinner, stupid right!!! but somehow it sounded fun and what da hell, I could do with a little shackn' up now, we went and it was fun all the way, at about past 2am, I was exhausted.
And this same Devil's Advocate suggested I could go rest my head in his Hotel room, all by myself, he persisted in dropping me, and since his still on fire now and am tired I could rest in his room for awhile, so I stretched out my hand, as he handed his hotel key to me.
An hour later, Tony came, and said he was ready to drop me, I still lazily lay on his bed, and he kept gisting, with my eyes closed i just listened.
He touched my hair, and started bringing back old memories, I answered saying they were all faint in my memories, I wonder how Tony could rememver so much after years.
He kept touching my hair and petting me, I just wanted to stay which i did, and i didnt just stayed over, I did the tingy.
After that night, I and Tony never talked aside from when he called that morning that he was travelling.
A week letter, Hubby came back and evrything went back to normal, 2months after I started having funny morning weakness, over sensitive nose, (I could persive things from far away) and other funny feelings I can't explain now, I was still seeing my monthly period, but after going for a test, I was positive.
My Hubby have never been this happy, I dont want to take that away from him, I am happy but am also sad because I know this baby aint his, I didnt terminate the pergnancy because I really wanted this baby, I couldnt concieve for 2years, now this might be my last chance, Tony have no idea about this baby and my Hubby too.
Can i bear this alone?
Am i wicked?
I wish this never happened, but this gave me a re assurance that am not barren, and this brought happiness to my Hubby and his family, cleard my name from people's Gossips and this is the must shameful thing I have ever done.
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